UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just orgasmed in traffic. Starting to have feelings for my commute.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Randomize
