Oh, don't even get me started. Harry Potter is so pure. Twilight is just teenage girl porn.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
He tried to introduce me to one of his friends that kept looking at me and I said "OH NO! I can't do this shit anymore!!" It was like I had a vision of what drunk me would've done in about 20 minutes.
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
