it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
5 minutes Isn't even long enough to bring me even close to an orgasm. How selfish. Think about baseball and fuck me you idiot.
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
I'm eating Arby's in the bathtub because I'm an adult and I do what I want
Randomize
