Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
I mean I drunk but not enough to handle a Scientology convention
I told her that I was going up to my room to lay in front of a fan without pants on, watching Avengers and she still wanted to get with me. I have to marry her.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
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