Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
99% of the contents of my handbag are ketchup packets and condoms. I feel that says a lot about me as a person.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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