i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I feel as if we moved beyond the hook up stage when she blew me as I drunkenly finished my chicken nuggets.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
I just set up a proportion to calculate how much Jolly Rancher vodka I can make with the limited amount of Jolly Ranchers I have. Finally, real-life application of math.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
She won't let me meet her hot new boy toy just because she thinks it'll lead to us having a threesome. It's not fair. I thought we were friends...
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