Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
Just bought a handle of vodka with the excuse of "just in case we drink tonight"
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
Randomize