He asked if I wanted to blow his flute? Please call me and pretend there is a family emergency!!!
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
I just had my first experience getting hit on by a guy. It was really awkward, he touched my chest and invited me to a gay bar because "women get drunk and let their guard down at gay bars"
thats actually pretty good logic
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
I just wanna be like "dude your gf's on a porn site" but i just dont know if i have the heart.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
