O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's sitting on the floor holding his bracket and crying, literally crying... he just keeps saying "Kansas how could you?" over and over
I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Hold on, I need to find something to wear that says "I don't contribute to your daughter's drug problem"
Ok: all ex-gfs except you from the last 5 years have or are about to have a baby...be on the lookout...
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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