The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
just skyped with my friend to listen in on the people talking shit about me in the library. creepy or strategic?
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I want something that's relevant to him banging her right after I did. Like "runner-up"
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
You leaned over so she could squirt ketchup in your hair and then started chanting "KETCHUP NIGHT!! KETCHUP NIGHT!!!"
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
Btw "you gettin a workout in" isn't a great gym pickup line. Like no I'm fucking grabbing lunch on my way to class.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
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