Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
So the dentist told me I couldn't suck on anything. She emphasized ANYthing.
sometimes you have to go after what you want
true. and i really want to cum
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
I woke up with my panties in the cat food dish, and everything covered in honey and bruises.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
