Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
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