Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
couldnt find a condom. used a surgical glove instead. actually worked and the sex was great. thanks nursing school
So somehow I got from NYC to a suburban town in the middle of Jersey. At 4am. Thank god there are trains that can rectify my mistakes...
I think there was chlamydia in those woods.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
Tomorrow we start training our livers for St.Patrick's day. May God be with us.
My heart wants him and my vagina wants him...to have a bigger dick.
Let's put it this way. Mom is bringing me a new shirt and I smell like lube.
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