i just shit 3 out of the 4 types of matter
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
My boss brought her husband's telescope to work, so all of us that work in the MMJ Dispensary got high and had an impromptu Blood Moon viewing party. I love my job.
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
Randomize
