can we get nightvision for the apartment?
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
After we had sex he made me watch a Top Gun highlight video...
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
I would go disguised as someone he didn't have premature ejaculative sex with but I don't know if I could stay in character.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Randomize
