i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She never called back. Financed a fleshlight.
We are so drunk I just let him piss between my legs on the toilet. That's love.
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
He's scared I want a relationship? How does texting him at three am and sleeping with four of my exes symbolize that?
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I asked my mom if she could pick up something for me to drink since we ran out of orange juice and she goes "We have beer, champagne, and baileys. Drink one of those."
It all started with a game of naked twister.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
