I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
Immaculate conception is definitely the most boring way to conceive a child.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
The cop used the word "belligerent" 16 times in the report. You get to bail him this time. I'm not up for it.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
HOW MANY BOYS NOT ONLY APPROVE OF YOUR PLAN TO BECOME POCAHONTAS, BUT WANT TO MAKE SURE YOU DO IT RIGHT? One, the answer is one, and he is the best and if anyone ever tries to steal him I can assure you they will never be heard from again
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
