Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
