dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
It's Monday. What a great day to start the weekend on the week of st. Patricks day
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
A guy I don't even know just ate me out on a washing machine at a random persons afterparty. I came as it was going through spin cycle.Just kept thinking "who does laundry during a party?"
Randomize
