dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
She just threw the soap bottle at me from the ladie's room and keeps asking me when we left the bar and got on the boat.
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
