The Shake Weight not only toned my arms but significantly improved my hand job form and efficiency.
I still can't figure out why that's not in the commercial.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
Brett got me a cake with a pic of me shitting
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Threw up in hyvee parking lot. Thanksgiving shopping complete.
Drunk me really does appreciate that sober me made a list of movies to watch when drunk it saves so much time
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
