the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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