i just wanna soil my oats bro
i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
did she really think she could get into the club & no one would recognize her from 16 & pregnant???
we were all standing in the kitchen taking shots and we look over at you and your face is in the plate of spaghetti you were eating.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Randomize
