She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
If only Ben were 51% gay instead of 49%
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
i study at coffee shops because all these damn artsy people motivate me to work towards a real job.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
I just told someone i was in "addition and subtraction 160".......and they believed me.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
