You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
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That girl is nothing but trouble. She's 40% red hair and 60% daddy issues.
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
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he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
You just kept looking down at your tits and screaming "I LOVE YOU TWO!!!"
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Randomize