Got a toothbrush?
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
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