I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
Its a long story, but I have superglue on my tongue
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
Well he was saying something about being emotionally unavailable since his dad died, but then I blew him in a tree and he shut up
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I'm so excited you texted me but I'm way to high to process it
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Tomorrow has nothing to do with the threesome
I am the one with the vagina. I get to call it.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
Randomize
