the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
There are few people I can ask this w/o being looked at as insane... Do you ever some days get fascinated by how amazing your own breast look?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I just got a high school volleyball teams practice cancelled because I slept with the head coach through their practice time.
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
We are all done wearing pants today
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