Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I think a used vibrator from amazon.com is a great valentines day gift foe my ex.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Side note: Hot guys are now getting with ugly chicks. Alert the media.
This time last year, you were undressing me from my gecko costume and getting freaky in a public bathroom. Tough to top that New Years Eve.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
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