College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
My masturbation fantasy just had a wedding theme. I need new hobbies.
Ohmygod. I don't know if I can explain how great it'll be. I hope you don't mind Subaru sex
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
Randomize
