I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I know it's super late on a work night, but can you drop by and bend me over my new motorcycle? I have tequila and tacos...
Randomize
