Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
He told me he could read braille... with his tongue. So I took him home. I don't think he was lying
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I think i got beer on your cat.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
Randomize
