carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
He added me on Facebook. I'm pretty sure he got my name from the inside of the bra I had lost in the frat house.
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
So it sounded like a midget was barfing IN our walls again this morning ...
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
bitch i am allowed to be rude i just fought cold hard porcelain with my face
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
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