I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
Enjoy the penises
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
Randomize
