So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i want two things in life...emily to stop talking and a block of cheese.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
How am I?!! The turkey is dry as shit, I'm watching football in low def and there's no beer b/c everyone is in aa. Fuck giving thanks.
I'm just pissed at the whore who takes over my body when I'm blacked out.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
Randomize
