your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Wow so rude I was trying to have an orgy later but whatever
I think having sex with you would be a great treat for us
you guys got to bein so kosher and go with the flow
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
Thanks for getting me home last night.
No worries. I'll always be there for you, just like Mufasa.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
The number of times I have seen your cock and the number of times I have wanted to see your cock are different!
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
Flatmate got laid for the first time in 3 years. I'm baking a cake.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Pro: 2020 made it easier to hook up with strippers
Con: explaining to Kari why there’s always strippers at our house
Pro: there’s always strippers at our house
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