***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
Ok lesson learned. Don't lick the spoon when making mushroom chocolates. The kitchen walls are melting.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
They're not that bad of drunks, they come back to the vehicle with more stuff than they went in with, so its a profitable venture.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
You understand the drunkenness of my drunkenness
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
I wish drug dealers had sales for the holidays
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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