I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
he fucked me so hard i could feel my pelvis shifting. like i legit feel more prepared for childirth now
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
you're now officially the 3000 mile booty call. congrats.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
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