She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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