Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
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She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
I threw my shoes out of frustration and walked home barefoot... can you help me find my shoes in the morning
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