um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
we're taking a shot everytime we receive a "Happy Thanksgiving!!!!!" mass text. up to 7 since 10am. God help us.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Just beat my spinning in office chair record. Almost puked. Totally worth it.
I think i accidentally made vodka pancakes
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
I'm facebook/twitter stalking the guy I just slept with as he's passed out next to me. What a time to be alive...
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
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