One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
I think i smell like relationship. That's my problem.
in the middle of fucking he asked me if i had gotten a haircut because he noticed i didnt have split ends anymore. i dont know what to think
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I'm curious as to what my outfit choices drunk me made for this weekend.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
Randomize
