Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
Need toilet paper. Napkins suck. Slowly running out of those two and the bleeding hasn't stopped. Your cat is next
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
