so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
my bedside table was not meant to hold this many beer bottles.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I want to preface this by saying nothing happened, nothing is on fire. It is mere speculation. Do we have a fire extinguisher?
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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