That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
High me is so sweet. She left not-high me a fortune from a fortune cookie and 6 packets of soy sauce in my tampon drawer.
Dude I may be rolling but there's no way I can make up a 12 ft tall giant green man waving to me right now
False alarm, security just told me it's a radio tower
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
