Let's perk you up. I have a good PG joke and a picture of my penis while urinating. You pick.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
I'm watching a Sinbad stand up special. Not even drugs can make this funny.
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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