What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
My plan for valentine's day: take a shot for every guy I've slept with. To keep me from going to the hospital I'm only doing half a shot for small dicks
It snowed today. The whore-inducing weather is official over.
The lack of respect you have for your penis baffles me. I'd rather rub my ball sack on public toilet seats than stick my dick in some of those girls.
A simple 'no' would have sufficed
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
Just convinced a housekeeper at work to set up her 401k. Gotta start hittin the gb every morning before work. Happy 420
He told me to keep watching the Grammys and then went down on me.. I think I'm in love.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
