Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Would it be inappropriate to do lines in front of the cable guy?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was like you were trying to communicate only you were using every letter of the alphabet but in no order and in a different language
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
The dick pic bandit just sent me a poem about showering..
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
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