I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
he is like the poster child for std's. god i hope he meets a girl with teeth in her vag. that would serve him right
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
Please high five our old drug dealer for me please.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
There's a website where you can order a pile of horse shit to be dropped on a persons doorstep. So that's another option.
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
Randomize
