we should wear snuggies to the strip club
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
I don't know if you remember, but I was only wearing an afghan.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Partial kegs from last night are currently in my bathtub, which leads me to 2 questions: 1. What are you doing tonight? 2. Can I use your shower?
Dude, seduce him with cookies. You almost turned me gay with scones. Don't be surprised when they get you laid.
We tried to hook you up with a girl but you said you'd rather fuck the large muscular black man because "At least he'd be tight". He was the bouncer, he heard you.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
So by "wait for me" do you think he meant "Don't have sex with random dentists?"
Conference sex doesn't count if the dentist doesn't know your name.
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
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