Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do I go about messaging a girl on a dating site whose little sister I've had a three some with...?
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
Omg i got really stoned and used a makeup app on my grandma...well, I’m definitely not adopted
I am not a whore. I just wanted casual drinking, monogamous sex and occasional McDonald's runs.
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