Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
Apparently 151 is to me what spinach is to popeye.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
