are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
It was relaxing until your penis crawled in my ear.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
That's true because who the fuck doesn't love Harry Potter and beer
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.