So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
She told me my dick looked like a baby seal wrapped in a sleeping bag.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
On the way home she put on a necklace with her name on it and wrote my name in sharpie across my chest so that in the morning we could avoid the awkward Idk who the fuck you are conversation. Best. Girl. Ever.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
If we're single and alone together, the fuck angels shall sing upon our nude bodies.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
I have fence marks all over my body
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
