ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
I heard an explosion in the backyard. You told me you were playing "will it burn".
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
A homeless man gave him a blanket and an ambulance drove him to sarahs...
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
