well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
I wish they made helmets for livers.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
Man, just talk to her friend and help me out. Otherwise we go home alone
I'd rather jerk off with a hand full of bumble bees then talk to her
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I don't think he understands that his kid doesn't bother me. I have a binder full of developmentally appropriate early childhood activities.
Either go for divorced men who are forty plus or stop doing this immediately. You are 23 years old. You need more wine and less baby fever
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
