Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Apparently we were just playing "bang a bridesmaid". I'm not sure if I won or lost...
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
