So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
Recording ancient aliens and the third Reich. Stoned you will thank me later.
I usually just read books and meditate to an aquatic soundtrack of sea walrus's mating. But ill choose coors light instead
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I am the worst person to have nipple rings I'm hanging ornaments off of then and sending everyone a tits the season to be jolly
It's not my fault you decided to fall in love with a Frodo Baggins lookalike
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
Randomize
