how do you clear previous safari searches on an iPhone? i asked my brother to google something for me and "big penis" "empire chinese food" and "reverse cowgirl" popped up.
Seriously just heard: "we need some good ass wine. how bout this swa-vig-non blank"
hahahaha. Oh virginia: where the south begins
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
I'll be the Broncos and you be the Seahawks and you can pound the shit out of me.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
She swallowed the key to the cuffs, I've been having to explain the pink fuzz all morning.
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
I have betrayed my no carb ways & I can feel it.
Embrace it. Come over to the dark side. I'll feed you muffins while stroking your hair.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
I climbed to the top of a stripper pole and touched the ceiling. Accomplishment?
Randomize
