I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
Is it just me or do I always seem to have cum in my bellybutton?
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
Randomize
