I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
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You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
My night started to turn around the time I started calling her a "raggedy cunt".
Somehow she got that I meant it as a term of endearment.
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
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I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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