She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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