and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
today is just not my day... it could be raining penises and I would get hit in the face by a vag
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I had to cum in my sink.
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