im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
You know your in for a great weekend when you buy the booze already in crutches
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Randomize
