i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So I have to borrow my moms car tomorrow to go pick up my ID from the strip club so I can board my plane tomorrow
Pretty sure that I just proved those labels that say "non-flammable" wrong. totally unrelated, We just made your futon fly with a shitload of fireworks
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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