Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
It's sad that I have started checking out the ring finger before the rack...I'm getting old
A lady just asked me if you "seat yourselves" here at qdoba. I told her yea and she has been sitting at a table waiting for someone to take her order for 25 mins.
In a world where you don't want your phone to pocket dial your parents at 2 in the morning while you're running around Florida shitfaced, Droid does.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Randomize
