So I'm sober and underage, being hit on by a groom-to-be with braces...is it a bad thing that I'm enjoying it?
think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
"Little drunk?" Honey you were "livetweeting" Sublime's "Sublime" album while it was playing in his car, and at one point you said you hoped they play Santeria. "Little drunk" doesn't cover it.
How did you get him out of the shower last time?
Order Taco Bell and leave a trail of burritos leading to his bed.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
Clearly you've confused me for someone who has their shit together, and honestly I have no idea how you did that.
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Randomize
