THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
searching my car for your cum before I have to give my grandma a ride to the airport. Thanks for this
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
found a cell phone. in the freezer. wrapped in bologna. explain?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
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