his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
When he saw my tits he said "wow you should be proud.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
