we have pet lesbian snakes
No. I broke it. Note to self, never take a shower with your phone in your pocket.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
So I have the professor convinced that the textbook will take another week to deliver. that should give me enough time to replace the cash i spent on strippers.
I really need to find a new way to reward you other than head scratches, nutella and blowjobs.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Omg, you would have loved the guy I almost hit with my car tonight
Well, my eyeball is red and the rest of my eye is black. Oh the joys of drinking with u. PS- I laid in a pile of sawdust. it was ok at the time.
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
At least your vagina gets to vagina again. Dust that thing off.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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