): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
You come home the day the world is supposed to end. Well played Mayans.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
When the neighbors threatened to call the cops, he yelled at them that American laws didnt apply to him because he was Danish. He then sang his own version of "America fuck yeah" along to daft punk, then fell down the porch steps. Can we keep him?!?!
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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