cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I just miserably failed my own drug test. At least I know what a positive will look like when I give them to the employees tomorrow.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
If that guy asks u bout me, I said my name is Jenelle, from CT, I'm a cat behiavor consultant and I'm 29. Back my story up
He was out clubbing with his SON. WHY did you let me KISS HIM? Also WHERE WAS HIS SON?!
Randomize
