I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
grilled cheese. we just shotgunned grilled cheese.
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
Also apparently I made a "cake sandwich"--yeah smashed a massive piece of cake between two slices of bread....fucking tequila
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
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